Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Exploration is important to a counyry

____Humans need exploration. Exploration also needs humans. Curious, the special feature of hymning, push people to explore and then the result of one exploration usually suspense another one. Countries require exploration eagerly for the discoveries, either on new land, resources and trading, could bringing them great wealth and authority.
Exploring new land or continent is important to a country especially in olden times. The discovery of America Continent is a suitable example. Though it had been independent and grew into several large coutries, it had been colony of European countries and brings them great benefit. The first European people arrived there, despite of Vikings, is Columbus and his men. Columbus, the Spanish navigator who blame fames of his discovery of America, sail out to find a way to legendary Asia and regarded the continent he found as Asia all his life. Even though the land is not Asia, and there is no diamond or gold full of ground, the discovery still give Europe great treasure and began a colony for a long time until American countries separated from Europe.
____Newland means new world where has numerous recourses .When Cabot first arrived Canada, he was surprised by the cod which they must never seen in Europe. He noticed immediately that it's a valuable food resource and also the importance of American continent. Cartier, a voyage man and explorer, sail to Canada for tree times and set up the colony to Canada. During his first voyage, he had a conflict between the native people and kidnaps the chief's two son. At last the chief agree that his son would be taken to France under the promise of sending back them with lots of European goods. Cartier did send back them on his seconds voyage to Canada. He had already got many things from Canada while he was not satisfied with that. He wanted to show the valuable and magic of Canada to the French king so he takes the chief who could tell how rich Canada was to the king by heself. It really did, bring rich resources to them.
___Trading is an important part of exploration. Exploration can give trading more kinds of goods and, in the other hand, trading stimulate the exploration of new product. There was a time when fur trading was every prevail between Canada and European. Fur resource in clued many species of animal and the fur from beavers occupied important number of them. Beaver hat was popular in that period. The requirement made many kinds of beaver hat. Each kind has its own feature and adventure. The fur trading is on the base of exploration.
___Exploration is important to a country; it can bring wealth to it. Exploration is every where either in past or today. it involve science, geography, history and nature. Every thing can be explored. Every project or object has the requirement of being discoverd even if it seems to be simple and usual.

1 comment:

  1. Focus 3/4

    Your introduction needs to introduce your essay. If your essay will talk about exploration and Canada, you might want to tell the reader in the introduction to establish a focus for them.

    Organization 3/4

    I see your thesis statement. You need to work on making your introduction and conclusion more engaging to read. Don't rush to begin or end your essay. Take your time to work through your ideas.

    Content 4/4

    Your explanation shows you really understand the importance of exploration. You really took the time to learn about the different ideas in exploration. Good job!

    Usage 2.5/4
    1.Many kinds of beaver hatS
    2. everywhere is one word
    3. either in the past
    4. it involves
    5. This sentence is a bit confusing. Make sure you read your essay a few times. Have a friend check it to see if it makes sense. Fur resource in clued many species of animal and the fur from beavers occupied important number of them

    Becareful of your subject-verb agreement.

    Style 3/4

    I like the way you use different sentences. I like the way you try to use vocabulary words in your essay. Keep on sounding formal and mature. Stay away from sounding like you are talking (colloquial language).

    Instead of using "it really did", you can say "it truly reveals"

    Make your essay sound formal.

    15.5/20 x 2 = 31/40

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